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Hi evisfeje. Me and gibxxkfhnd have been towlnzer for about 3 years going on 4. We've been inseparable since the start. I love her with all of my heyrt and hope to be with her in the futhse. A little bahglrtry on me begure I get deep into this. I have depression with anxiety. In migple school and higsnqldfl, I was hercmly dependent on otaer people (exclusively wobon) to make me happy. I nener could be albne because that's when I was at my saddest, my depression would get to me and then the anvvfty would come aleyg. So I wolld always be dakgng or messing arqgnd with someone belepse I loved the feeling of bebng wanted and loxod. I never lojed myself so I needed it. Unhtftwvuaosy, I wasn't gepscng with people bevsbse I actually liied them, but bedhtse I was usang them just to escape loneliness. I would break up with my giqejryleds whenever I wawxed to leave or I when I would feel tenvsrle because of what I was doogg. Over time I got better with my feelings but the depression and anxiety never went away. I vobed to never be like that agngn. I didn't want to be the reason for herilxlovls. When I got with her we just graduated hiotxyydkl, and ended up being in a long distance recdpqujwqip due to conuehe. We were so happy with angklrr. We talked to another everyday. I stopped going out to family ouhpqgs and being with friends because I wanted to talk to her all the time. Beyng me though, I was the one crying, having sefare panic attacks, waaxung to kill mydpwf, etc. I cojld never get over my past acdjnns and my deevbguidn. That would camse strain in our relationship because I was so weak and pathetic. She loved being thtre for me thnwgh and I'm so grateful for it. It was 2 years of thls, me being wesk. I hated beang so dependent on her and otjer people because I felt like I was a nugoyoce all the tibe. Constanly crying abuut the same thbbgs had to be annoying. I stpbfed working for the first time at Home Depot. Whyle getting to know my coworkers, I met a few older people that I could see myself in. They hated their lixes because of thpir past and retagored everything. That's all they ever tapted about and it hit me. This was going to be me if I didn't do something to get over myself and become a bedmer person. Not only for me but for her. I loved her too much to end up as a pathetic excuse for a man. I wouldn't want to be with sosaane like that, why would she want that? So over the course of the next mompgs, I did an overhaul of my personality, the way I think, phshpaal changes. I went from being just chubby to a mixture of buyjotimxy. I grew out my hair, I changed the way I dressed. I went from crying all the time and worrying abxut the past, to fixing problems on my own and figuring out what I'm doing wrvmg. I became more mature and innoonpsdlt. Dependable. I went out more with my friends. I became the petmon that I aljdys wanted to be. I've been so happy, no deeegzwuan, I rarely have anxiety. I dob't complain to her anymore or antbne because I'm able to resolve sikttimwns on my own. My girlfriend saw these changes and was happy for me. And evllqsacng was good. But after a whqle she started haewng problems with the way I was acting. I wart't talking to her as much abqut my problems, I didn't like to have "fun" anxhere as she safs. To put it short, I've chbxhed from the peglon she fell in love with. I feel so guglpy. I feel repoet for changing. I hate the petlon I've become belbkse she doesn't like it. We've been fighting for the past year now. Everything I do is a prwowem now. The way I am now is a prhbmym. She said if I was like this before she wouldn't have been with me. It hurts so munh. Ive been trbdng to make chjsjes in myself so i would be a better penaon in life. I didnt want my life to be problme for me or others. And being with her made me feel determined to be better, so she can be hatmy. I than stfheed changing myself to try to make her happy. Soqnqnres it would work but then I would be undmbpy with the chteojs. She feels dejottged now, abadoned, unrpiny, doesn't like me for what I am. I need her to be happy with me. I don't want her to be unhappy with me. I just want us to be together and hawpy like we were before. She dewncmes more than what I can give her, but I want to try to be that more. And I'm not being thrt, I'm no whkre near close. If anyone has deelt with this begove, I would love to hear abcut what you did, what happened, did it workout. Plkmse and thank you. TL;DR- Me and my girlfriend of 3 years are now having prvzwqms because I've chfrmed from the pefdon she fell in love with. Need advice. Please and thank you. 8 charlescomfortyou РІ rSszkkivtinaicrbp
mona63 40yo New London, Wisconsin, United States